The Fallen- DBSK- Ch IV

Chapter IV- This Is All Your Fault, Truth!

I walked carefully down the street, suddenly aware of everything around me as I went.
Jae had invited me for dinner at his place as a 'welcome to the neighborhood' gift, and I couldn't help but hope that Truth was there.
I mean, don't get me wrong-I didn't mind at all having him all to myself, but….
But I didn't know how much more of this I could take before I finally snapped.
I walked up the steps to his front door and took a deep breath.
Maybe it wouldn't be so bad.
Maybe we could get into a nice and comfortable enough conversation that I wouldn't have to think too hard about him.
Yeah….
I reached up and knocked once, paused, then knocked three more times- A sort of 'code' we had come up with so that we knew if was one of us or, well…. Truth.
As I waited in the cool night, I noticed my heart as it beat louder and louder and-
"Hey there."
I jumped slightly when Jae appeared in the door and he chuckled.
"Sorry," He laughed. "Didn't mean to startle you by opening the door when you knocked or anything."
I laughed nervously, sweeping a strand of hair out of my eyes and shuffling my feet slightly in embarassment.
"Oh- Uhhh…. Sorry." I apologized. "I was just, errr…. Thinking…. Is all…."
Jae looked at me curiously a moment, but choose not to question it further and, instead, turned and gestured a hand behind him and inside is home.
"Well come on in." He smiled.
I nodded my thanks as I stepped into the warmth and glanced around as Jae shut the door behind us.
You could tell instantly that Jae had lived here a lot longer than I had….
The décor seemed to have been done by a professional and everything seemed so organized, so warm, so comforting, so….
Inviting….
Sure, Truth wasn't really there like I had and hadn't hoped, but…. I think I'll be fine….
"Please- Take a seat." He offered, gesturing to a large, plush-looking brown sofa pushed up against one of the deep red walls of his living room. "I'm just gonna finish up with dinner."
I carefully perched my self on the far edge of the couch as Jae walked off and into the kitchen.
"So how have you been?" He asked, peering out the doorway at me from his place in front of the stove.
"Oh, good, I suppose." I smiled, nervously.
"Having any more luck in finding friends around here?" He smiled.
I knew he was just trying to make conversation, yet I wasn't quite sure how to answer that one….
"Ummm…. Well…." I tried. "I've always thought it's better to have only a few close friends and leave the rest as, errr…. 'aquantices'."
"Oh?" Jae hummed, pouring something in a pot into a strainer over the sink behind him. "And just where do I fall in your list then?"
My heart raced slightly and I found myself even more clueless of this answer than the last.
"Ummm…. Well…." I stuttered. "I, uhhh…."
"I suppose you haven't known me long enough to have worked myself up to 'friend' quite yet." He smiled at me. "Am I right?"
I swallowed hard and he chuckled, holding up a hand as he poured the strainer out into a large bowl.
"Never you mind." He smiled brightly. "You don't have to answer that- I'll just make that my goal."
Jae poured a few different sauces and spices into the bowl and mixed it as I cocked my head at him.
"Excuse me?"
Jae grasped the bowl with both and hands and stepped out of the kitchen and into the dining room, gesturing for me to follow.
"I'll make it my goal to be on your list." He grinned happily.
My heart flipped at the sight of his beautiful crooked smile and I found myself at an ultimate loss of words.
Jae took this silence as on okay before gesturing to the bowl.
"Hope you like spaghetti."

"Hey you." Truth called suggestively from the other side of the line. "I saw you go over to Jae's place last night. You didn't comeback till late- Whacha doin over there, huh?"
I sighed heavily over the line.
"What are you- spying on me or something?" I rolled my eyes. "He just invited me for dinner at his place so we could talk more."
"He so likes you." Truth stated bluntly from the other side of the line.
My heart raced against time as I tried to catch my breath again.
Wow…. If this is what happens when I just think about it, imagine if it were really true….
I shook my head fiercely and shoved the thought away in fear my heart might explode.
"No he doesn't." I protested. "We're just…. Aquantices."
"Aquantices?" Truth puffed. "Whatever…. Lovebirds is more like it."
I could feel the heat rush to my cheeks as I gripped the phone tighter.
"Good night, Truth." I hissed through my teeth at her. I could almost hear her little mischvious grin peel across her face.
"Good night, lovebird."

THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, TRUTH!
If it weren't for you and your insistence upon finding me a man, this would have never happened.
Sure, you may not know about me or Jae or anything, but…. Still!
Ug!
You make me so frustrated sometimes, that I- GAH!
You are so lucky that I love you so damn much!
….
Truth….
Get me out of this….
I can't stand this much more….
I'm gonna snap, and then he'll hate me, Truth….
Save me….
….
From what?
….
Love….
….
I love him, Truth….
I have for so long now, but….
But that wouldn't make sense to you….
My dearest, Truth….
I wish I could tell you….
But I can't….
I wish I could tell you that I never really had amnesia….
That I really lied….
And that I really just….
Can't tell you….
….
I can't tell you, Truth….
I can't tell you that I was once an angel-
I can't tell you about the gap in the clouds-
Or when I first I first saw him-
Or when I realized it was love….
I can't tell you about how they shoved me down-
Or how my wings were clipped, torn from body- I-
….
I can't tell you, Truth….
I can't tell you what I am- You'd think of me as even more insane than you first assumed.
Truth….
I wish I could tell you….
But I can't….
You see, Truth….
I'm a Fallen….