PERFECTION- Ch. II

P E R F E C T I O N
C H A P T E R  II – T h e  B o y  I n s i d e . . . .

"Hey Toshiru?" Kanne called from the other side of the door.
I finished folding the pants on my hands now and turned my head to the door.
"Yeah?"
"Do you, uhhh…." He tried. "Do you wanna hang out today?"
"Isn't that what we would do normally?" I questioned, setting the folded garment on my bed with the rest of the clean clothes now. "We live together, right?"
"Well yeah but…." He sighed. "Can I come in?"
"Sure."
The door creaked open slowly and Kanne peeked his head in first in conformation before squeezing through the door, making sure to close it carefully behind him.
"So what's with the hanging out thing now?" I asked casually, returning to folding my last shirt.
"Well I guess you could say it's sort of an…. Apology…." He sighed. I paused a moment before scoping up the pile of clothes with a smirk, headed for the dresser now.
"What's so funny?" Kanne puffed at me.
I turned and smiled delicately at him.
"I'd like that." I grinned.
Did he just…. Blush?

"It's really nice out here…." I mused, stopping to lean over the railing of the boardwalk now. Kanne followed suit next to me and smiled out at the sea as the wind brushed through his hair and I stared.
"Yeah…."
He glanced over at my dazed expression and I shook my head, quickly speaking up before he had the time to question the look;
"You know, I've never been out here before…." I tried and Kanne cocked his head at me.
"You haven't?" He questioned.
"Well me as Mitmosuki hasn't…." I chuckled. "Me as I am now…. Well I don't know if 'I' have!"
Kanne chuckled and an odd sensation rippled down my spine.
He really was a great guy when he wasn't being a douche….
His dark hair, entrancing eyes, adorable smile, flawless body….
"Are you checking me out?" Kanne grinned. My eyes snapped up to him and it was then that I noticed my gaze had been trailing down his body and I flushed deeply, turning to the sea once more.
"N-No…. O-of course not!"
A rather comfortable silence settled between the two of us and I couldn't help but feel a little…. Proud, that Kanne hadn't came up with a snippy comeback or really bad pick-up line to that….
"You know…." I breathed suddenly, eyes glued to the incoming waves, even when Kanne turned to me. "Toshiru really does like you…. And you're kind of rubbing off on me as well…."
"Well I hope he likes me…." Kanne snorted. "We've lived together for years…."
"No, I mean…." I paused and sighed. "Never mind…."
"No wait…."
I turned and locked eyes with Kanne's suddenly intimate expression. "You mean what?"
"I mean…." I tried again "More than  I roommate…. He just…. Well you can be so much of a jerk at times that…. Well…. He never wanted to say anything…."
Kanne stared at me in uncertain shock so I was quick to continue.
"More than anything, I think he wanting this feeling to go away but…. But it's just so strong…. It's almost scary how strong it can get when you're like this…. You know, not being a jerk." I smirked over at him playfully. He stood in shock a moment before finally coping my smirk with a snort and returning his attention to the lapping waters once more.
"You had me going there for a minute…." He sighed and I chuckled.
"Figures you wouldn't believe me…." I shook my head at the waves when he turned to me once more. "I know I'm me and he's him, but…. I am in this body right now and…. Well it sounds silly, but…. Toshiru's still in here…. in a way at least…. I may be the one in his body, but it is still his body is what you have to remember…. And in the end…. He really likes you, Kanne…. More than he can bear sometimes…."
There was a long silence between Kanne and I again and, just as he opened his mouth to say something, I turned on my heels and strutted in the opposite direction and further down the boardwalk again.
Kanne stood in shock for a long moment before finally jogging after me again….
As I slowed my pace slightly to allow him to catch up once more, I couldn't but think…. Being in Toshiru's body has been weird, but…. I didn't really mind anymore…. He's a good guy with a dark secret about his roommate that I was determined to set free for him…. He could thank me later…. ;3

"So what did you think?" Kanne smiled brightly as he unlocked the front door and held it open for me.
"I had no idea there was so much to do at the boardwalk!" I grinned in return, stepping past him and into the apartment.
"Well I'm glad I could make you smile…." He grinned. "You know…. What you were saying before…."
I slipped off my shoes and hung up my jacket, heading for the couch as he spoke.
"Yeah?"
Kanne slipped off his shoes as well and followed me over.
"Wither you're really Toshiru or not…." He tried again, sinking down slowly next to me now. "You'll always be Toshiru to me…. And wither you know it or not….. you and Toshiru are a lot alike…. And even you said it…. Toshiru's still in there…. Somewhere…. So…. I'm sorry if I ever make you uncomfortable, but…. You'll always be my dear Toshiru…."
"Your?" I teased and Kanne flushed slightly.
"I guess I should explain a bit…." He flushed, scratching at his head slightly in embarrassment. "You see…."
Kanne sighed and leaned back on the couch as I tuned in intently to him now.
"Toshiru lived on the streets for a long time…." He began, then snorted. "Seems like it would have been the other way around, huh? Well…. I'm about 3½ years older than him…. Well actually it's 4 but Toshiru says that sounds bad somehow…. Anyways…. I found him digging through my trash one night….. I asked him what the hell he was doing and…. Well I guess he was having a bad day cause he just burst into tears right then and there…. I felt sorry for him so…. After he calmed down, we sat on the curb and talked for hours…. I finally started to get tired and needed to go to bed, but…. But after all that, I couldn't just leave the kid…. So I…. I took him in…. He slept with me that night since I only had one bed at the time, and he was too afraid to sleep alone…. He kept wriggling up to me as close he could get…. That was six years ago…. I'm twenty-four now and, back then, I had just moved out…. The kid's not even old enough to drink yet to date…. I always make fun of him for that…. I'll bring him a beer every once in a while, but he always yells at me for it…."
I stared at him as he gazed off in his story, continuing on and smiling brightly about the first time he left Toshiru in the apartment by himself, or when he first gave him a copy of the key…. The first time he took him to the boardwalk and when…. When he told him he was gay….
"That's when we had to buy a new bed…." Kanne frowned suddenly now, his once cheerful expression from happy memories now gone completely and, instead, replaced with hurt, sorrow and…. Confusion….
"He didn't trust me anymore…." He continued, eyes fixated to the ground beneath our feet now. "He refused to even share a bedroom with me, and demanded to have the spare…. He stayed though, thank God, but he did threaten to leave once…. I thought I was going to die…. I suppose that was the night that I noticed that…. In all irony of the situation…. I had really fallen for the kid…."
There was a short silence before Kanne lifted his head to face me again. His expression softened suddenly and he smiled sadly.
"Toshiru…."
He ran a hand through my hair, pushing a tuff of it out of my eyes and I grinned softly at him.
Who was I to take Toshiru away from him like that?
He knew it was really me….
But he also knew…. that it was still Toshiru….
"So you like me, huh Toshiru?" He smirked softly still. "You're in there…. You're the one who yelled at me half-way through out argument this morning…. Not Mitmosuki…."
That odd feeling rose again and I could feel Toshiru's spirit pressing against mine somewhere deep inside of me….
"Yes…." I breathed. I froze for a moment the second the word came out.
I…. I didn't say that….
Toshiru….
"How long Toshiru?" Kanne questioned, resting a hand under my chin now. "How long have you liked me like this?"
I paused.
"A few years…." I answered quietly and he smiled again.
"Why didn't you just tell me?" He snorted. "You know I love you…."
My entire being- Toshiru, me, and all- froze at the word….
Love….
"What?" I breathed. "You…. Love…. Me….?"
Kanne nodded slowly. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against mine gently and sighed.
"Yes…." He breathed, closing his eyes now. "I have for so long now, but…. But I didn't want you to leave…. I…. I love you Toshiru Yotsuba…. I love you…."
More harshly than the first time, I was shoved into the background, Toshiru rising up past me again.
"Kanne, I…."
The moment was right, the setting was perfect, and the words were nearly there….
"I can't…."
The moment was shot and Toshiru leaned away from Kanne again, standing up now and taking a few steps backwards towards him room. Kanne stood slowly from the couch, a look of rejection painfully coating his face as he reached out at hand towards me, as if to pull me back and into him once more.
"I just…. I just can't, I…. I'm so sorry Kanne…."
I turned and dodged into the room, slamming and locking the door in my rush, immediately retreating to my bed. Toshiru backed down sorrowfully again, pressing me forth once more the moment our face hit the pillow.
"Kanne…." I breathed into the darkness of the room. "I…. love you too…."

To Be Continued….